1. New friends will look at you with a mix of bewilderment and fear when you tell them about your hometown customs. Yet, even when people repeat it back, you still don’t see what sounds crazy about it.For example, Jack in the Green: “So you’re telling me everyone dresses in green, covers themselves in leaves and gets drunk in the Old Town?”  Yes, but you left out the Morris Dancing in the streets.what
    Or: “People march through the streets carrying burning torches, which they use to set fire to a huge effigy on the beach.”  Yes, and that’s how we do Bonfire Night in Sussex, bitches!  FYI, you haven’t done bonfire night until you’ve done it Sussex-style.  An amazing procession, followed by incredible fireworks.  Well worth the trip.
  2. Seagulls run the town. They are the apex predator, the top of the food chain.  You will stop your car to let them cross the road, and yes, you sure as hell will give them your sandwich should they desire it for their lunch.
    seagull

    Actual CCTV footage*

     

  3. People always assume you spent your days swanning around on a fabulous beach, basically in manner of The O.C (or, y’know, a more current reference). Except that you didn’t.  The beaches are pebble, the smell of fish and chips and sound of the nearby amusement arcade fill the air.  But you wouldn’t have it any other way.beach
  4. Except on the odd occasion when you fancy a bit of sand, so head to Camber. Where it is always guaranteed to be windy as hell, ensuring sand in your picnic/eyes/underwear within seconds.eyes
  5. You feel a strange sense of pride when you bring your other half to Hastings for the first time and he spots the cricketer’s ball in Priory Meadow within seconds. This one’s a keeper, for sure.
  6. On that note, no-one will understand why you’re so sad that the famous cricketer statue is now gone. Where will you arrange to meet your friends in town now?!
  7. Talking about P.E lessons, aside from bringing up the usual borrowed kit flashbacks and rope climbing nightmares, leads to yet more bewilderment. Stoolball?!  A strange but wonderful hybrid mix of cricket and baseball, and yet none of your friends outside of Sussex will have ever heard of it.confusion
  8. To this day you can’t work out whether amusement arcades are delightfully quaint, or hideously tacky. Either way you will still spend many a drunken evening in them, dominating the air hockey tables and cleaning up on the 2p machines, for sure.money dance
  9. The enjoyment you derive from correcting everyone you meet about the Battle of Hastings. “Ah, but you know, it didn’t actually take place in Hastings, it happened in” *dramatic pause* “…Battle!”  Cue everyone’s minds being blown.
  10. Yet you still have to suppress an eye-roll when you tell someone you’re from anywhere near Hastings and they start reciting their year 9 History lessons.eye roll
  11. Chortling every time you drive past the sign near Chichester that prohibits all racing by “horse drawn vehicles.”
  12. This frustrating conversation. “I’m from East Sussex.”  “Oh, Essex?” “No, East Sussex”.  “But that’s Essex right?” *Speaking slow and deliberately* “Eeeeast Susssssex.  Different place.”  (That being said, they should totally make ‘The Only Way is East Sussex.’)
  13. The pride you felt when you heard about the men who stole a swan pedalo and attempted to sail to France in it. Not all heroes wear capes people.applause
    Only in Sussex…*Just kidding. Probably.

 

 

The cake is a lie.

  1. Portal.  What starts off as an intriguing puzzle game quickly becomes a compelling, and chilling adventure.  A unique premise, mind-bending physics and a villain with the sassiest one-liners ever.  I love this game so much I had Companion Cube bride and groom wedding cake toppers.
  2. Portal 2. Picks up where Portal 1 left off, and is every bit as awesome, shedding a lot of light on the events leading up to the first game.  It was a longer game than I was expecting (much to my delight), but kept me gripped and guessing until the very end.  The fantastic two-player mode was a great new development also.  Plus, I loved the hilarious new character Wheatley, voiced brilliantly by Stephen Merchant.
  3. Spyro the Dragon. I have such fond memories of playing this in the late 90’s on my super swanky PS1.  Charming, fun, and in my opinion a really well-made game considering its age.
  4. Little Big Adventure 1 & 2. A little-known series of games with somewhat of a cult following, these were THE games of my childhood.  Both excellent games, though the second is markedly improved in terms of graphics and game-play.  Fantastic story-lines and wonderful characters.  I feel sad on a daily basis that they never made a third.
  5. The Half-Life series (including all spin-offs: Opposing Force, Blue Shift). Before Portal there was Half-Life.  I have grouped them all together only because they’d take up half my list otherwise.  Phenomenal story-line (I don’t want to give anything away, just trust me), chilling soundtrack, BADASS antagonist, and great first person game-play (though amusingly in the first game the footstep sound effects make it sound like you have three legs).
  6. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Not my usual choice of game, but this one takes me back to my uni days, when I used to while away whole afternoons playing it with my boyfriend.  Thankfully he was better at the art of seduction than CJ (in that he didn’t buy me a giant dildo on our first date), and he’s now my husband.
  7. Call of Duty. I’m grouping the series together, as they’re all good in their own ways.  Again, I never expected this to be my cup of tea, but I basically adopted an ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ philosophy when everyone was playing it at uni.  And I got scarily good.  My husband won’t even play against me anymore, but we do make a kick-ass team on the zombie levels (which are ridiculously addictive, just to warn you).
  8. Pacman.  THE best arcade game.  We recently hooked our computer up to a projector and had an epic giant tournament.  Best. Day. Ever.
    pacman
  9. Super Mario Bros. Yes, Mario 64 came along in 3d and blew everyone’s minds, and yes, Mario Galaxy is amazing, but in my opinion, you just can’t beat the old-school 2d, platform Mario.
  10. Mario Kart. Not only do I love this game, but I play to win.  No mercy.  To the point that no-one will play with me.  Competitive, me?
  11. Zelda: Majora’s Mask. I know this is somewhat of a controversial choice, but this is by far my favourite of the Zelda series.  It’s a beautifully dark, weird game, with a great story and interesting game-play (in particular, the swimming is the best I’ve ever experienced in a video game).

*I couldn’t narrow it down to 10!