- New friends will look at you with a mix of bewilderment and fear when you tell them about your hometown customs. Yet, even when people repeat it back, you still don’t see what sounds crazy about it.For example, Jack in the Green: “So you’re telling me everyone dresses in green, covers themselves in leaves and gets drunk in the Old Town?” Yes, but you left out the Morris Dancing in the streets.
Or: “People march through the streets carrying burning torches, which they use to set fire to a huge effigy on the beach.” Yes, and that’s how we do Bonfire Night in Sussex, bitches! FYI, you haven’t done bonfire night until you’ve done it Sussex-style. An amazing procession, followed by incredible fireworks. Well worth the trip.
- Seagulls run the town. They are the apex predator, the top of the food chain. You will stop your car to let them cross the road, and yes, you sure as hell will give them your sandwich should they desire it for their lunch.
- People always assume you spent your days swanning around on a fabulous beach, basically in manner of The O.C (or, y’know, a more current reference). Except that you didn’t. The beaches are pebble, the smell of fish and chips and sound of the nearby amusement arcade fill the air. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.
- Except on the odd occasion when you fancy a bit of sand, so head to Camber. Where it is always guaranteed to be windy as hell, ensuring sand in your picnic/eyes/underwear within seconds.
- You feel a strange sense of pride when you bring your other half to Hastings for the first time and he spots the cricketer’s ball in Priory Meadow within seconds. This one’s a keeper, for sure.
- On that note, no-one will understand why you’re so sad that the famous cricketer statue is now gone. Where will you arrange to meet your friends in town now?!
- Talking about P.E lessons, aside from bringing up the usual borrowed kit flashbacks and rope climbing nightmares, leads to yet more bewilderment. Stoolball?! A strange but wonderful hybrid mix of cricket and baseball, and yet none of your friends outside of Sussex will have ever heard of it.
- To this day you can’t work out whether amusement arcades are delightfully quaint, or hideously tacky. Either way you will still spend many a drunken evening in them, dominating the air hockey tables and cleaning up on the 2p machines, for sure.
- The enjoyment you derive from correcting everyone you meet about the Battle of Hastings. “Ah, but you know, it didn’t actually take place in Hastings, it happened in” *dramatic pause* “…Battle!” Cue everyone’s minds being blown.
- Yet you still have to suppress an eye-roll when you tell someone you’re from anywhere near Hastings and they start reciting their year 9 History lessons.
- Chortling every time you drive past the sign near Chichester that prohibits all racing by “horse drawn vehicles.”
- This frustrating conversation. “I’m from East Sussex.” “Oh, Essex?” “No, East Sussex”. “But that’s Essex right?” *Speaking slow and deliberately* “Eeeeast Susssssex. Different place.” (That being said, they should totally make ‘The Only Way is East Sussex.’)
- The pride you felt when you heard about the men who stole a swan pedalo and attempted to sail to France in it. Not all heroes wear capes people.
Only in Sussex…*Just kidding. Probably.