Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was more than just a show to me.
At my lowest point three years ago, I went to my GP in desperation. His kind words and gentle reassurances gave me the courage I needed to begin a course of antidepressants.
Looking back, I can see that he helped to give me the kind of validation Rebecca got when she received her BPD diagnosis. It was my very own ‘A Diagnosis’ moment.
He patiently answered my questions, and we got my follow-up appointments booked in. I knew what the future looked like. I had a plan.
And then he left. Suddenly I felt like I was out to sea without a life jacket again. I felt lost and adrift, my newfound hope fading quickly.
The loss hit me hard. I spent the entire afternoon under my duvet, sobbing like a heartbroken teenager. It was a bizarre and – I can see now – disproportionate response to an unexpected hurdle, but I just couldn’t cope with it. That afternoon, I watched several episodes of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Rebecca’s troubles made me feel less alone.
Fast-forward almost 3 years, and I’m a million miles from person I was then. Rachel Bloom, you created a sanctuary. Your show helped me to feel safe.
When I watched Rebecca find herself in the series finale, I realised that I have also found myself. Like Rebecca, I found that writing is what truly makes me happy. It’s books and blog posts rather than music and lyrics, but it’s close enough. (Side note: I’ve also since developed an obsession with soft pretzels. Eating rather than making, but it’s close enough.)
I am so grateful for the world you created, Rachel. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was more than a show, and Rebecca was so much more than a character.
She was a friend.
To Rachel, I raise a toast to whatever comes next.
To Rebecca, I say this: I love you and shall miss you dearly. Thank you for sharing my journey with me.