I’ve been feeling really good recently.
No, make that great! Like, smiling at strangers in the supermarket and feeling like I’m an unstoppable force kinda great.
At the weekend I had the immense joy of watching two of my favourite people in the world get married. I was a bridesmaid for the very first time and I loved every minute. I laughed, cried, caught up with old friends, drank too much champagne, and danced all night. My thighs are still hurting, but it was totally worth it! It was a perfect day.
You know it’s been a good day when you start off looking like a princess and end up looking like Boy George!
The days are getting longer and warmer, I have some potentially exciting opportunities on the horizon, and I’ve finally started planning my Scandinavia trip (June 2017, fingers crossed!)
All in all, life is looking pretty fantastic.
On a personal note I’ve been working on being more positive and focusing on all the times I feel good. CBT has taught me to take stock of all the ways my anxiety can manifest itself physically. I’m supposed to focus on symptoms like tingling fingertips, shortness of breath, or feeling lightheaded, and remind myself that these sensations aren’t anything serious, but rather my nervous system misfiring.
I haven’t felt any of these things for a while now, which feels like a really big step, but it’s got me thinking, why am I not channeling that same focus on all the lovely ways my body responds to happiness?
Like the way laughter rises up through my stomach in little uncontrollable bubbles, or the tingle of goosebumps down my arms when I listen to a beautiful song. The warmth that spreads through me when someone pays me a compliment, or the way I felt so overwhelmed with joy at my best friends’ wedding that my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, but in the best way possible.
We all lead such busy lives and get so wrapped up with the stresses of adulthood that I think we sometimes forget to slow down and take stock of all the times we feel good.
So next time you feel butterflies of excitement, or the uncontrollable urge to smile, take a moment to really enjoy the sensation. Focus on all the other things you’re feeling, and truly savour them. These are the moments that we take for granted. When we look back on this time in our lives we’ll remember the big things that made us happy, but we’ll forget all the tiny little snapshots that helped to make up the big picture. I feel like I’m ready to stop dwelling on my anxiety and start cherishing my own happiness, however small and insignificant it might seem from the outside.